Parents Who Control Their Children Emotionally Beyond Childhood

Children need freedom to achieve autonomy. Only in this way can they structure their identity, their beliefs and their opinions. Furthermore, they are able to travel along the road towards adulthood. But when parents emotionally control their children, they hinder their development.

There are parents who, from their children’s childhood, hammer out their future based on their own needs. In fact , they look to the future and assign their children responsibilities that simply do not belong to them. They see the child as a refuge from loneliness or a lifeline from the loss of old age. They can also expect one of their children to take care of other siblings or continue with a kind of family tradition.

Some parents believe that their emotional or financial stability depends on whether their children live with them. However, these parents are victims of their own fears and insecurities. Furthermore, by not overcoming them, they pass on these feelings to their children. That is why the children stay with them. Most people are not even aware of this. Still, it causes a lot of damage.

The mandate

Such parents seem helpless to manipulate their children. In fact, over time, their words are transformed into a mandate and a sentence that the child is then obliged to fulfill.

Then the child will give up his own plans. In many cases, they even sacrifice the opportunity to start their own family, or to study in a particular place, or to accept a job opportunity that is really attractive to them. In fact, they have to include their parents in every plan they make.

These children have been given a mandate to take responsibility for their parents’ well-being and happiness at all costs. Children who take on this role carry an enormous emotional burden. Furthermore, they feel guilty just for thinking about living an independent life.

In fact, some of these children continue to live in their parents’ homes and “fulfill” their assigned destiny, even long after their parents have died. In other cases, the children may have their own families. However, conflicts with parents that arise from this decision, often lead to them giving up, going through marital breakdown and moving back to the childhood home.

Relevant consequences of parents emotionally controlling their children

Unresolved parenting issues can ruin an entire generation of children and even extend beyond. In fact, it is quite likely that such parents were raised in the same way as they “train” their children today.

This form of emotional manipulation that parents perform results in frustrated children without real expectations in life. These children are actually used as emotional crutches. They are forced to forget their own existence.

In addition, they often suppress their own needs and desires. This is irrational, and they often become neurotic. In many cases, when the parents die, these children will feel completely lost because they do not know what to do with freedom and life.

A continuous addiction

In general, such situations where parents emotionally control their children can give strong feelings of love-hate towards the parents. In fact, in some cases they become a source of permanent conflict between the two parties. When this type of condition persists, it becomes extremely unhealthy.

This mutual bond limits the freedom of those involved and prevents the fulfillment of wishes and goals. In the same way, it gives insecurity and low self-esteem in the child.

Perceiving life as a continuous series of victims based on a misunderstood concept of love has consequences. It can lead to serious problems in mental function, such as phobias or obsessive-compulsive disorder.

In the same way , the guilt the child experiences when he breaks the mandate can degenerate into suffering from somatic diseases or other types of disorders. These have important consequences for them. In fact, they are simply overloaded.

What to expect

Of course, it is important that children have a positive attitude towards their parents. However, this does not mean that they have the right to decide their future.

Moreover, we now know that when children are brought up to be responsible and independent, they are far more likely to help and contribute to their parents’ well-being later in life. In these cases, when problems arise, the children will actually cooperate in the best way they can. In addition, the relationship between parents and children is less likely to break down.

For most parents, there is no greater satisfaction than watching their children become independent. These people have seen and encouraged the children to grow up and take responsibility for their own lives. For this reason, they are most happy that their children are now happy with their own lives and the choices they have made.