Why Do So Many People Like To Gossip?
People who like to gossip do not just live in small places and they are not the typical housewives who share gossip over the fence. Gossip is different in today’s world. These days, it is ingrained in everyone’s daily life. But why do so many gossip? What makes it so popular?
Language and uncertainty
Some say that gossip began when human language evolved. They say that gossip even helped the language of today’s great modern society to grow. The stories people told about each other were informative: They talked about social status, the roles they played in a group and established social norms. These stories even fulfilled the purpose of helping people, for example, find a suitable match.
On a deeper level, the underlying basic psychological needs of gossip are to remove uncertainty. People do not feel good when they think they do not have enough information. So they try to fix a cognitive balance.
How? By getting the missing information via gossip. The motivation here is to obtain information about another person. And in practice, the termination justifies the funds. Everything goes.
How is someone who likes to gossip? How does such a person view himself?
When you are the victim of gossip, you start fooling around. Do they gossip because they are bored? Do they not have their own life? Why do they want to hurt me? To look at it a bit broadly, people who gossip usually do not have much reflection. Their conversations are often mainly about external things. In fact, the external world of the environment is usually a reflection of the person’s internal. The richer the latter, the richer the former will be.
People who like to gossip have lives just like everyone else. But they prefer to flee from their problems and think about other people’s problems so they do not have to think about their own. It’s their defense mechanism.
What they do not know is that they are wasting time they could have invested in themselves. One of the most interesting things about gossipers is that they rarely admit that they love gossip. They are often unaware of it.
Is gossip useful? Is it good? Is it harmful?
As a general rule, people associate gossip with unnecessary and not very interesting information. And sometimes it’s just like that. Think of the rumors we hear about famous people who do not exactly affect our lives.
But other times, gossip can be helpful from an individual point of view. Asking many questions can provide you with useful information that can open up new opportunities for you. Regardless, this type of behavior can be labeled as opportunistic. On top of that, it can also damage your reputation.
Psychology considers moderation to be the best option. It’s good to show interest in people you care about. But being curious does not mean interfering in their lives and gossiping about them. Instead, it means knowing how to ask and listen. It’s about being respectful.
So if you repeatedly bother them, poke your nose into their business and sneak into their lives (and their homes), they will not respond positively to your exaggerated interest.
How should you act if someone wants to gossip with you?
If you think your friend likes to gossip, the first thing you should do is observe them. The next step is to ask yourself two questions. Why is this person telling me this? For what purpose does he / she tell me?
You can even ask the person directly if you think it is appropriate. Depending on the answer you get, you can get an idea if you can or should take their words seriously.
Normally, if gossip is not about you, you may not think about it that much. But remember that it may be you next time. Therefore, the best thing to do to avoid and hurt someone is not to spread it to others. This way, the rumor or gossip ends with you.
On the other hand, if someone attacks you with questions, it is best to let that person know that you find it uncomfortable or that you do not want to talk. You can use any excuse to get rid of these people. Your freedom and your privacy are at stake, so protect yourself.
Does having a lot of information about others make you credible?
Absolutely not. Trust is deserved based on discretion and understanding. It does not depend on the information someone may have about others. If someone tells you a secret that another person has told them, do you think you can trust them with your own secrets? Why would they keep your secrets if they did not keep others?
Not only do those who like to gossip about other people’s secrets reveal, but on top of that, they tend to add a little extra drama to the story as well. Thus, they lie, or at least tell only half-truths that make the story sound more interesting.
At the same time, we have all been informers of other people’s lives. The problem is when you do it compulsively and constantly, without humility and respect for others. Look into yourself and stick to your own affairs.
