Self-acceptance: How To Accept Your Mistakes

How can you accept your mistakes? If you ask people what they do not like about themselves, many do not know how to answer. “I have so many!” they say. Others, those who are arrogant with excessive self-esteem, will say that they have none and that they accept themselves for exactly who they are. These people are probably lying. After all, almost everyone has something about themselves that they do not like, and try to hide. People hide embarrassment, insecurity and fear of dislike, among other aspects.

The interesting thing, however, is that people sometimes label their personal qualities as wrong when there is nothing abnormal about them. For example, a prominent nose is not a fault; it is a normal physical trait. A few extra pounds, freckles on your face, being short or bald for men should not be considered wrong.

Behind this negative self-perception lies uncertainty and acceptance. Real errors are rarely visible. Irresponsibility, laziness, selfishness and pride are qualities that require a trained sensitivity to change and improve. Let’s dive right into it.

The keys to accepting your mistakes

Everyone has flaws and virtues. The beauty of being human is the combination of all these conflicting elements that make you imperfect and unique. Maybe one of your mistakes is that you are in a bad mood. But over time, you can learn to be aware of your strong character and lack of patience and be able to control them.

Or maybe you tend to talk too much and barely let anyone in a word. Again, the fact that you acknowledge it and take responsibility for it makes it possible to deal with. It’s part of what defines you and probably causes problems sometimes. However, that does not mean that you are a bad person.

The first step in accepting your mistakes is very basic. You need to know if what you do not like about yourself is in fact a mistake.

Pathology of normal qualities and characteristics

It is very human to pathologize things about ourselves that are only part of our personality or physical appearance. Things that are quite common, such as being a little shy, insecure, nervous or impatient, are not wrong in themselves. They are simply traits that form part of who you are.

The same goes for your physical characteristics. Weight, height and skin problems are not wrong. Physical disabilities are not lacking.

So what is a real mistake? A mistake will be a negative attitude that can be harmful to yourself and others. Examples of this can be jealousy, greed, arrogance, pessimism, intolerance and narcissism. As you can see, these dimensions include behaviors and attitudes that rarely balance with virtues. They tend to destabilize any situation, conversation, relationship or circumstance.

Accepting yourself is the secret to being more secure

If you want to accept your mistakes (it’s not really mistakes, but a consequence of your insecurities), you need to work on self-acceptance. If you think that being overweight, being shy or stuttering is a bit wrong, the first thing you need to do is work on your personal growth.

After all, self-acceptance is more powerful than self-esteem. Why? The latter is not only dependent on a positive self-image. What other people tell you and what you think about yourself, this psychic muscle provides food. On the other hand, self-acceptance does not require any external reinforcements.

In addition, Albert Ellis, creator of rational emotional behavior therapy, established self-acceptance as the cornerstone of his approach. He said, “But you should always – yes, always – accept and respect yourself, your personality, your being, whether you perform well or not, and whether other people approve of you and your behavior.”

If you learn to strengthen this area, you will think differently about all the things you currently consider missing.

How can you accept your mistakes?

Aggressive communication, impatience, jealousy, inability to understand the views of others… If you want to accept your most difficult mistakes, those that cause problems in relation to other people, the most important thing is to know how to identify them.

Many people do not have the humility to see and take responsibility for these obviously negative qualities. However, once you have identified them, the next step is not just to “accept them”. You will not give these real mistakes space and duration. What you want to do instead is transform them.

The act of transformation often requires knowing what is going on behind each individual. Envy and jealousy, for example, tend to obscure low self-esteem. Aggressive communication is a manifestation of poor emotional management and lack of social skills. As a result, the best way to transform these errors is usually with therapy.