The Secret To Moving On And Starting Over

Moving on without looking back is not always easy, especially when your emotional baggage weighs you down. Sometimes you have to stop along the way to be able to heal or maybe even reinvent yourself. Only when you have shaped the new and better version of yourself, will you really be ready to move on.

We could compare life to a woven piece of cloth embroidered with beginnings and endings. They are two sides of the same coin, full of conflicting emotions that can be difficult to deal with. This is because it is difficult to look past your fears and anxieties and at the possibilities on the horizon.

Experts on the subject, such as Denise Beike from the University of Arkansas, argue that things that happen to you are not as important as how you handle them. That is why it is so important to have a clear and objective perspective on certain things.

After experiencing something difficult in your life, people have probably said that you need to move on. But how can you do that when you are struggling with so much anxiety and pain? You know you have to keep going and looking ahead, but doing so is not always easy.

Pain has deep roots. You can not just pull them up and move to another place. Restarting is not that easy. You must be able to repair yourself, transform and create a new you where you take from everything you have lived and learned. This process can take time. But if you give yourself this time, you can start over, even better than ever.

You can not move on if you are still carrying an emotional baggage

You can do it. Fix your gaze on the horizon and move on, one step at a time. You can even just let time take care of all your emotional healing. Many people believe that the passage of time will help them forget their pain and memories. But the day comes when you realize that this strategy is not really working.

Albert Ellis, the well-known cognitive psychotherapist, often reminded us that we allow ourselves to be carried away by certain beliefs without considering other alternatives. Ellis called them “irrational ideas.” These are ideas that put us in unhealthy and problematic situations.

So, when you are facing a difficult moment or transition in your life, you need to reflect on the following ideas:

Move forward emotionally

Going forward is not the same as moving forward. People often seek psychological therapy after a breakup or loss because they tried to move on without taking the time to grieve.

You should add this really basic idea to your list: go ahead. Here’s what this means:

• Going forward means not getting stuck in the same place.
• It involves applying a new life strategy.
• Going forward requires starting on the inside, without fleeing.
• It means that you face what you feel and accept it. You have to understand it, heal, and give yourself the chance for a fresh start. This is how you can get emotional and mental progress.
• It is also important to be aware that pain and grief from a loss will never go away. No one can erase these feelings. You need to create a space for them inside you and learn to live with them.

Transitions take time

A study by Mark A. Thornton of Cornell University shows that all change brings a set of emotions. To effectively deal with change, you need to know how to deal with these emotions. If you do not do this and you are trying to speed up the process, you risk developing a mental illness such as depression.

You need to be able to channel your mind and frustration. You also need to know how to pick your disappointment apart and learn from it.

To start over with a stronger version of yourself

People do not change, they move forward. We recreate as often as we need to. We do not do it on a whim or for fun. Transformation happens when you face adversity and come out stronger and better prepared on the other side.

You know that moving on is the only option you have in life. The alternative is to be paralyzed and stranded. But you have a choice to make in how you do it. Try not to run away from yourself and your feelings. Open the door to the dark and messy room that is the deepest part of you. Give it some love, organize it and air it out.

Allow yourself to start over. Embark on your path again as a stronger and more hopeful person. As Charlotte Brontë once said: “What is the necessity of dwelling on the past when the present is so much safer and the future so much brighter?”