Commitment In A Relationship – Is It Just Positive?

Emotional relationships, including bonds you share with your family, friendships and romantic relationships are undoubtedly very important. They are based on love, but what does love really mean? How important is commitment in a relationship?

Passion, trust and commitment are three very important aspects of any relationship. In this article, we will discuss commitment in relationships. In general, people think that commitment is a good thing. But what about when it goes too far?

Before we begin to analyze whether commitment in a relationship is beneficial or not, we need to define what we put in the word commitment, and separate it from the other two concepts, passion and trust.

What is an obligation?

Commitment is people’s willingness to stick together. All conditions require a certain degree of commitment. Of course, there is a difference between the commitment you have to family and friends, and the commitment required in a romantic relationship. In general, a romantic relationship will require a greater commitment than a friendship.

Simply put, commitment is a type of social contract that both parties accept. Stamping yourself as “friends”, “a couple” or “married” will be the part of the contract that binds it. The problem is that the specific clauses in this contract will often not be explicitly outlined by each party. The content of this contract tends to be a reflection of the expectations society believes each party should meet.

The main goal of commitment in relationships is that each party should experience a certain sense of security and control. When entering into a social contract, you will feel comfortable having certain expectations of how your partner will behave. This helps you predict the types of situations that may arise, and act accordingly.

Having some control, and feeling safe in a relationship is beneficial in many ways. For example, it is easier to raise children together when a couple is committed to each other. This is because children are born completely defenseless and need the parents’ constant care.

Commitment in a relationship today

So what does this mean in today’s social landscape? In general, people may agree that commitment involves a few things:

• Loyalty: Most people consider infidelity a reason to end a relationship.
• A desire to keep the relationship going in the future : If one of the parties wants to end the relationship after a short time, you will most likely be able to agree that they were not committed.

Is commitment in a relationship a good thing, or a bad thing?

If you pay a little extra attention to the relationships you share with others, you will quickly discover that many of them are toxic to some degree. This is because commitment in relationship can lead to many problems due to:

• the implicit social contract
• the expectations it brings
• the need for someone to have control over someone else

Implicit social contract

Implicit social contracts are implicit designations each party to the relationship must fulfill. In many cases, the parties will not clearly express what they expect from each other. On the contrary, they will often start their relationship with certain expectations about how their partner “should” behave.

Each individual has their own interpretation of what commitment in a relationship entails. Thus, many conflicts can arise at the beginning of the relationship due to these very individual, and often specific, expectations.

Social expectations

When you are committed to another person, you have a set of ideas on how your partner should behave to make you happy. However, problems arise when one party does not meet the expectations of the other.

In general, both parties try to meet the other’s expectations. However, in certain situations they will do this by setting aside their own needs and expectations. If this becomes a habit, it can quickly lead to dissatisfaction.

The need for control and commitment in a relationship

Finally, commitment can make you feel the need to control your partner. This may be rooted in the need we have to feel safe and secure. The problem is that control can lead to emotional dependence. As such, your partner may eventually feel trapped and frustrated.

Autonomy is a human need. We cannot force others to act in accordance with our rules or wishes. A relationship based on dominance and subordination will hinder this freedom. And this will undoubtedly lead to dissatisfaction and unhappiness.

Conclusion

Commitment is an agreement between two parties. Although it is an important aspect of romantic relationships, it should not be the main aspect. Those who take it to the extreme may end up doing more harm than good.

Still, most commitment issues can be resolved by explaining what you expect from your partner. It is also important to give your partner the freedom they are entitled to. These two things are fundamental to a relationship filled with love, and two happy parties.