Lack Of Self-esteem: Emotional Insecurity

Navigating through life with emotional insecurity is a heavy burden. Doubting everything, especially ourselves, is a major obstacle to personal happiness. Going through life with fear, when you lack self-confidence and are unable to make decisions, is like trying to balance on a tight line while juggling a thousand things.

This uncertainty may have been with us since we were children. It can be the result of an unhappy childhood. Maybe we did not feel protected or safe as children. On the other hand, our uncertainty may have arisen from the opposite side of the spectrum. Maybe our parents overprotected us when we were young, which made us feel inferior and insignificant. Uncertainty can also arise due to very serious traumatic situations.

Emotional insecurity is the biggest enemy of progress, the biggest obstacle to self-confidence, and the biggest obstacle to building strong relationships. If we allow emotional insecurity to invade our thoughts, criticism and an endless cycle of self-doubt will take over. But we can protect ourselves so that this does not happen. If we are already experiencing emotional insecurity, we can begin to rebuild our security. Let’s go deeper.

What is emotional insecurity?

Emotional insecurity stems from constantly doubting our own abilities, emotions, and the way we behave. It is a state of constant doubt that paralyzes us. When we are emotionally unstable, we require validation from other people to achieve a sense of false happiness.

We must not forget that uncertainty and doubt are only a part of life. In fact, the Spanish philosopher and essayist Ortega Y Gasset will say that radical uncertainty can cease to exist at any time. The problem is that we are not always aware of our uncertainties. We spend our time planning and organizing, creating illusions of the future. We are so sure that everything will happen as we expect. Suddenly, when everything is going to break into a thousand parts, we have to pick up the pieces and start a new plan.

Living with a little uncertainty

Knowing that everything can change in a few seconds can help us live more intensely. However, this does not mean that we accept uncertainty as a friend or companion. Rather, we only consider the idea of ​​uncertainty. We must be comfortable with the idea that uncertainty or doubt can creep in at any time. The most sensible thing we can do is be prepared to face it when it comes.

Does this mean that it is better to be insecure and not take anything for granted? No, all we are saying is that it is best to avoid living in an imaginary perfect world where nothing goes wrong. Excessive emotional insecurity is harmful. In addition to destroying our self-esteem, emotional insecurity can invade all areas of our lives. How do we proceed when we are not sure of something?

The most important thing is to know how to distinguish between general insecurity and extreme emotional insecurity. Emotional insecurity is a much more specific condition that has to do with us and how we value ourselves. Emotional insecurity stays with us and makes us see life in a completely different way. This means that we do not trust ourselves and makes us seek validation from others to feel good.

What are the characteristics of emotionally insecure people?

To better understand the world of emotional insecurity and how it affects us, it is important to know what it means to be an insecure person. Here are some of the most common characteristics of emotionally insecure people. They are the following:

• Fear of criticism, judgments and assessments from others.
• A constant need to show their achievements and receive praise for feeling important and capable.

• Tendency to be perfectionist and competitive.
• They are usually defensive.
• Has low self-esteem.
• They try to spread doubt and uncertainty to others.
• Often uses false modesty.
• They strongly distrust themselves.

The mind of an emotionally insecure person

Insecure people tend to act and think as if they are constantly fighting an internal war. This war is a battle between their need to prove to others that they are important and their deep sense of disability and uselessness. In the most severe cases, when an emotionally insecure person feels as if no one values ​​them, they become invisible to themselves.

The Austrian psychoanalyst Alfred Adler proposed the concept of the inferiority complex to describe this type of person. He affirmed that insecure people maintain a constant struggle for superiority. This need for superiority can have a negative impact on their relationship. Their unhappiness makes others unhappy. In addition, Adler classified this type of behavior as typical of neuroses.

However, not all insecure people are classified in this way. It all depends on how much distrust they have of their own abilities and achievements.

Ways to deal with emotional insecurity

It is possible to get rid of the constant distrust of oneself and the insecurity that governs us. The most important thing is to know that we have to work with it. But if we are used to underestimating ourselves, this process will take some time.

Believing in ourselves is one of the strongest pillars we can build to avoid falling back into the hole of emotional insecurity. To avoid feeling uncomfortable and having relapses, we need to work on the recovery process every day. In order to recover, we need to consider a number of things:

• Avoid comparisons.
• Accept both your weaknesses and your strengths.
• Do not make criticism something personal.
• Heal wounds from the past. They create seeds of worry and constant doubt.
• Develop a sense of humor.
• Do not seek approval from others.
• Appreciate every step you take in the right direction.
• Give up the belief in being perfect.
• Remember your internal dialogue.

Now you are familiar with the road. Why not start your journey? Appreciating ourselves is one of the most beautiful gifts we can give. Trusting ourselves and our abilities will create tremendous personal growth.