Learn How To Handle The Word “No “

There are thousands of texts discussing the word “no.” It is an important topic, but while you should learn to deny yourself things when appropriate, it is also important to learn to accept a “no” from other people. Of course, some “no” are very difficult to accept, but the thing is that they happen to everyone, and in fact they are a great opportunity for improvement.

To learn to recognize the importance of accepting a negative answer, think about what would happen if everyone said “yes” to you. Imagine a child who got every wish fulfilled. They would certainly turn out to be temperamental, insecure and stubborn, and they would not value anything as much as it deserves. The same thing would happen to an adult, or to anyone.

Most people can probably remember with enthusiasm when a “no” turns into a “yes”. This suggests that effort, overcoming obstacles and fighting for what you want, is very gratifying. Reasonable limits do not hinder our freedom, but rather guarantee our mental health and development. We should often be grateful for these negative responses.

Boundaries evoke the desire to achieve. Difficulties activate our intellectual and emotional resources. They also allow us to grow, mature, and discover what we are capable of being and doing. They help us develop self-confidence and identify our place in the world.

The many benefits of hearing the word “no”

Deep down , no one wants to hear “no” as an answer, especially if what is being denied is very important to you. When others do not want to continue their relationship with you, it can be devastating. Not getting the dream job, not being able to travel to your dream destination, not being approved for the student loan you needed. All these negative answers are really painful.

But as much as it hurts to hear the word “no”, it can also give you many benefits, which include the following:

• It allows you to identify and accept other points of view. It is important to learn that a negative response is rarely a rejection of you as a person. It just means that the other person sees things differently.
• It makes you reevaluate your goals. It is an excellent opportunity to weigh the importance of what you are trying to achieve. Maybe you will end up reorganizing priorities and changing your goals.
• It points to your fantasies and obsessions. When you hear “no” again and again, it may be a sign that you are not ready for anything. Maybe you’re unnecessarily stubborn.
• It stimulates the imagination and capacity for achievement. If it involves something you really want or need to achieve, it can lead you to take more creative actions.

Getting over “no”

Most of the best stories, and the best things about yourself, begin with the word “no.” But so do the worst memories. As always , it’s important how you handled what happened, not what happened.  Receiving a negative response can reveal who you really are.

In the beginning, the “no” is doing to take people out of their comfort zone. It acts as a turning point, sending out a message that simply says: you can not proceed. And your answer may be unexpected, depending on what person you are and how important what you are denied is to you. If you are immature, you will respond with a tantrum. If you are confident in yourself, you will accept the challenge.

The first step towards getting over “no” is to accept it. And accepting it implies understanding that denying you something is a legitimate choice for your employer, partner, financial system or whatever it may be. No one deserves things just because they want it a lot or because they are who they are.

The second step is to look at your most intimate desires. Is what you want, what you insist on having, really that important? What are the hidden messages behind this negative response? Does that mean you are not capable, not ready, or on the wrong path? Does that mean you were not properly recognized, or that you misunderstood the situation? The answers to these questions will take you to the next level.

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