Why Can You Not Stop Postponing Things?

“I should start working. Tomorrow I have to submit that report, and I have not even opened my computer. ” “I have two days left to solve a problem that I have been postponing for several weeks, but I still cannot bring myself to do so.” Why can’t you stop postponing things? Are you destined to be lazy? Why can’t your mind focus on real priorities?

We dare say that every single person has fallen into a cycle of procrastination that has led to them having a bad conscience. After all, procrastination is a sign of laziness, isn’t it? Well, that’s what many people think, but doing so only makes things worse. In fact, there are few things that further reinforce the act of procrastinating as a negative and disqualifying internal dialogue.

Think about it for a moment. Those who are actually lazy, inactive and carefree do not care to be like that. All they care about is finding excuses to avoid caring about what they should. On the other hand, when you procrastinate, you end up feeling bad about it.

Therefore, it is important to understand what lies behind this behavior so as not to let it shape your life. Let’s expand this.

Why can’t you stop postponing things?

We tend to associate postponement with young students. However, individuals of all ages do. For example, having to replace a light bulb or fix something in the garage. We also experience it when it comes to work, for example having to complete an invoice or a detailed project. Even though we know there is something we need to do, we can not get started.

When you feel you can not stop procrastinating, there is stagnation and lack of progress. Obviously, this feeling makes you feel anxious. Furthermore, two different things happen when you go through this. Let us see.

• First and foremost, procrastination has consequences. For example, you may lose your job, fail a test, or miss an opportunity.

• Second, you may start to think badly of yourself. You feel inefficient, incompetent and generally terrible. Even worse, you feel like there is something you simply cannot control. It does not matter that you ultimately decide to do so. Something will always happen to distract you from the task.

What is the rationale behind this behavior?

It’s not a time management problem, it’s your feelings

When you ask yourself “ Why can I not stop postponing things? “, It is quite common to think that the problem is poor timing. For this reason, many people buy books that can teach them to manage their time better and even obtain an almanac. But for the most part, procrastination remains the same.

Asking someone who has been exposed for several months to be more organized is like asking a depressed person to look happier. It simply makes no sense, because the basic problem in reality lies in the person’s emotions, their anxiety, worry, fear, need to do good, and fear of failing.

These feelings are difficult to deal with. As a result, the individual becomes upset, uncomfortable and uses procrastination as a complex and exhausting way out. Worst of all, these situations continue for several months, and in these cases the person may face an undiagnosed depression or anxiety disorder.

Why can’t you stop postponing things? The fear behind procrastination

There is a lot of fear behind the question ” Why can I not stop procrastinating ?” This may seem contradictory to you, right? What does this mean? What are you afraid of?

A study conducted at Leuphana University in Germany showed that procrastination is basically a dysfunctional response to unwanted affective states. For example, there are probably many things you need to do that make you feel scared and anxious. By not knowing how to deal with these emotional states, you decide to avoid them. That’s when procrastination comes into the picture.

On average, the fear behind the postponement is:

• Fear of failure and not meeting other people’s or your own expectations.
• Anxiety from facing certain situations that you feel you have no control over.
• Often it is also an aversion to having to do something you simply do not want to do for some reason.

If you have a goal, focus on your feelings before the goal itself

Think about these scenarios. To set a short-term goal for yourself, to have to perform a task or deliver something by a certain deadline. When it comes to events like these, people usually make a small mistake. They focus on the due date and then they plan. This is not exactly bad. Planning, however, should be secondary. The most important thing should be to focus on emotions.

If a task makes you anxious, you will not move on. It is necessary to work on your emotional state first and then move on to thinking about your goal. If you are not looking forward to doing something, you will not find the strength and motivation to invest time in it. You need to deal with these emotions, reformulate your thoughts, reduce your fears, and manage to stay in a relaxed and focused state of mind to be productive.

Furthermore, doctors Sirois and Pychyl (2013) from the University of Leeds invite us to take the following into account. Before we set our sights on this long-term goal, we must quickly set ourselves a short-term goal: Take care of our state of mind.

In short, if you feel mentally OK, you will be able to do what you decide. Emotional management will always be the best wellness strategy. Always remember this!